March 14,2010

Today is my first day at attempting this blog and I am quite excited about it. I still haven't decided what all I am going to say in it but I guess that doesn't matter much really.

My favorite saying is from a Bob Seger song..Those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul. I have been trying to remember that as my mind has been wandering lately back to when I wasn't living my life with much purpose. I know you can not go back in time and change the things you have done but why is it lately the things I did and didn't do have been haunting me so much? Lisa told me recently that when a person is going through "The Change" they tend to stress about the things in life that bothers them the most. Maybe she is right..maybe that is all there is but I can't stop wandering how it is my kids still love me and how they don't hate me for the things that I did. I wish I could go back and change all of it but yet there is a lot of things that did help me be who I am today. I wish I could really honestly believe all of that but why couldn't i be who I am today without having to go though all that? There are many people in the world that do absolutely great things and have never gone through some of the shit I have. So maybe it isn't any of that kind of stuff and maybe it is just luck.

I am wandering if I should start at the beginning to help me process this stuff better. If that is the case it will be a really long blog..haha! I think I will close for now. I work at 11:00 tonight so I am going to sit and relax for awhile before work. I am sure I will be back tonight while working.

Love and Peace~
Cris